By Steve K.

This reflection on the subject of transformation through suffering, adversity, loss, or trauma is particularly pertinent to those who’ve suffered from histories of addiction. People in recovery from addiction have often lived through traumatic experiences and many also suffer with co-occurring health problems. Despite these hardships, their recovery often brings about dramatic changes of an inspirational nature as they learn not only to survive their addiction, but to thrive in no small measure as a result of the suffering and trauma they’ve experienced.

Significant suffering and traumatic experiences in life often effect people detrimentally, creating psychological, emotional, and physical health difficulties that can be of a long-term nature. For many, it can be hard to find anything positive or meaningful in the suffering and adversity they have lived through.

However, it is also common for positive change, meaning and purpose to come out of suffering and history is full of examples of personal growth and transformation psychologically, socially, and spiritually that have arisen from suffering and adversity in life. I would like to focus upon transformation, meaning and purpose that can come through suffering and adversity.. including the phenomena of ‘post-traumatic growth’ and ‘spiritual awakening’.

What makes the difference between those who find positive change through suffering and adversity and the many who don’t?  I would like to offer a combination of factors, some of which we have no control over such as the support, help, opportunity, and role models available to us.

An individual’s outlook upon life, their character traits, which are both genetically and socially influenced, and their inner resilience are also important in how they respond to suffering. Some of the factors that would enable an individual to grow through suffering can be taken away due to the very nature of the adversity or trauma they’ve experienced.. preventing positive change occurring.

‘I’m not suggesting that we should seek out suffering. But that there will always be some degree of suffering in our lives, and when it comes, we should try not to see it in wholly negative terms. We should always be aware that, buried inside it, there is an opportunity for growth and transformation. Suffering often triggers a process of alchemy transmuting trauma and hardship into joy and serenity, and tragedy into spiritual awakening.’ (1)

“Whatever does not kill us can make us stronger.”

I’ve often considered the truth of Fredrick Nietzsche’s famous statement preferring this version of his quote.. “Whatever does not kill us can make us stronger.”  In it, there is the suggestion that suffering and adversity can kill or overwhelm us. However, if we have the inner resilience, resources, and or support and circumstances we can often transcend and even thrive because of our hardships.

Psychology professor Mark Seery says that research shows exposure to adverse life events typically predicts negative effects on mental health and well-being, such that more adversity predicts worse outcomes. 

However, Seery and co-researchers also found that those exposed to some adverse events reported better mental health and well-being outcomes than people with a high history of adversity or those with no history of adversity.

In other words, both too little and too much adversity is not good for your mental health. So, it would seem just as mistaken to try and protect yourself — or your children — from all hardship as it would be to not try and avoid major suffering and trauma — or to discount the harm they can do.

Despite the harm severe adversity often causes it is still possible to experience positive change, meaning and purpose in its wake. People with histories of addiction tend to try and avoid inevitable suffering making it greater in the longer term, often creating avoidable suffering in their lives. An important transition in recovery is learning to face and work through the inevitable hardships of life, growing in the process, and choosing to avoid unnecessary and detrimental suffering.

“There is a Tibetan saying that adversities can turn into good opportunities. Even a tragic situation can become an opportunity for positive change and growth.”

“There is another Tibetan saying that it is actually the painful experiences in life that shine a light on the nature of happiness and joy.  They do this by bringing joyful experiences into sharp relief.” 

Maybe so, Maybe not. We’ll see.

We cannot see the bigger picture of our lives or what the future holds for us. What often seems a negative event often leads to a positive outcome in the longer term. Suffering often develops our character, changes our outlook upon life for the better, and can give us greater compassion and empathy for the hardships of others.

There is a Chinese Proverb that goes something like this…

A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbours exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbours shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

The moral of this story, is, of course, that no event, in and of itself, can truly be judged as good or bad, lucky or unlucky, fortunate or unfortunate, but that only time will tell the whole story.

Post Traumatic Growth

The view that suffering and adversity can lead to positive change, particularly of a spiritual nature, is a commonly held belief that can be traced back for thousands of years and is also supported by modern day transpersonal research. Since the 1990’s the related concept of ‘post traumatic growth’ has become a popular area of study.  

Post-traumatic growth (PTG) sometimes occurs when an individual experiences a traumatic event or very challenging life circumstances, and as a result of the suffering endured, and the struggle to adjust to their new reality, the person becomes more than they were before the trauma or challenging life circumstances took place.

Research into PTG suggests that people tend to change for the better in five general areas: 1) They often develop a different outlook upon life with new possibilities for themselves. 2) Gain a renewed appreciation and enthusiasm for life. 3) Develop Increased personal strength and maturity. 4) Find improvements in their relationships with others and an increased sense of compassion. 5) Experience a deepening of their spiritual lives, which can also involve a significant change in one’s belief system.

Illness and disability quite often force change which can be negative and/or positive in nature.  If we can adapt to the adverse effects of chronic illness and disability, which often depends upon the nature of our character and attitude towards life and the support we are given.. and in particular, if we are able to find meaning and purpose within our suffering, we can then be motivated to learn new ways of living and relating to others which are positive and that promote our growth and development as human beings. Finding a “silver lining” in adversity is not that uncommon – an important point made by the following quote:

“The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity – even under the most difficult circumstances to add a deeper meaning to his life.”

Viktor Frankl

Martine Wright MBE

The Story of Martine Wright MBE and her post-traumatic growth following the 7th July London bombings is an inspirational example of this type of phenomenon.  Martine lost both her legs in the 2005 underground London bombings. Despite her injuries and the dramatic changes to her life Martine went on to become a Paralympic athlete, wife, mother, pilot, award winner, motivational speaker, and mentor.

“The first five years was really, really tough but it’s been seven years and things do get normal,” she said. “What I found in the beginning was those memories of how you used to do things were there, and that was really hard to cope with. I don’t think about those memories now. I just do things differently.”

She puts the easing of the trauma, and the mellowing of the memories down to the passing of time, but only in part.

“I’m doing something that is absolutely amazing, that I would never ever have done, as a result of going through the most traumatic day of my life and nearly dying, and thank God I didn’t die,” she said.

“I think in my head it is this reasoning that helps me. There was nothing that I could have done to stop what happened that day, it was going to happen and it was going to happen because – maybe – I was always meant to be where I am today.”

Guardian Newspaper

Martine Wright’s story is an example of finding meaning, purpose, and a fulfilling life through trauma. I’ve listened to her being interviewed on television and found her statement that she wouldn’t change what happened to her and considers herself to be lucky because of what happened.. difficult to comprehend. Although, I have heard the same sentiments expressed by people who’ve experienced great suffering and loss due to their addiction to alcohol and other drugs. This is because their suffering and traumas have eventually led them to lead rich and rewarding lives in recovery for which they are truly grateful.

The Phenomenon of Spiritual Awakening Through Suffering and Trauma.

As well as the phenomenon of Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) arising from suffering, loss, or trauma such adversities can also lead to spiritual experiences and awakenings of a temporary or permanent nature. The following cases are of well-known individuals, but this happens quite commonly to ordinary people too, many of whom have previously had no interest or involvement with religion or spirituality.

The power suffering has to break one’s ego often seems to be a fundamental aspect of a spiritual awakening or experience. We often radically change in our outlook, behaviour and feeling in response to intense suffering. Many previously self-centred, hedonistic, and materially focused people are transformed by adversity and trauma into living a life that’s focused upon helping others. Their life takes on new meaning and purpose beyond themselves.

St Francis of Assisi

St Francis of Assisi was a classic example of this type of spiritual conversion. His experiences of war, imprisonment and serious illness led to a dramatic change in his personality and lifestyle. St Francis became known for renouncing his wealth, living among, and serving the poor, which included looking after those suffering from leprosy. While not necessarily a bad person before his spiritual conversion, he did come from a wealthy family and lived a hedonistic lifestyle.

Bill Wilson

Bill Wilson, a co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, is another famous example of someone who suffered greatly (due to his alcoholism) before a spiritual experience led to him finding long-term sobriety and a life dedicated to helping other alcoholics. Bill’s spiritual awakening lasted the rest of his life.

His early life included emotional trauma resulting from his parents separating and abandoning him when he was around 10 years old. He also experienced the death of his first girlfriend around the age of 17 which triggered a long period of depression and affected his ability to complete his education. Mental illness (his mother) and addiction (grandfather and quite likely Bill’s father) ran in Bill’s family.

Bill was a self-confessed egotist before his spiritual experience and following his conversion spent his life practicing humility (not always successfully) and altruism, despite his fame and the adulation of many.

Russel Williams

Russel Williams became a spiritual teacher and the president of the Buddhist Society of Manchester. He taught a form of non-dualism after experiencing a dissolution of his ego and realising that all things are one and there is no separation. To say that Russel had a difficult early life as a child and young man is an understatement. He was orphaned at around 11years old, with no other relatives who could take him in he had to fend for himself from then on working in various jobs across the country. He lived through traumatic experiences during the Second World War which led to a permanent spiritual awakening. After this people where naturally drawn to him as a spiritual leader who affected people mainly by his presence.

A book about Russel Williams’ life is available on Amazon called ‘Not I, Not Other Than I.’

Byron Katie

Bryon Katie is a modern spiritual teacher who went through intense psychological suffering, deep self-loathing, and suicidal thoughts for almost a decade. She self-medicated with alcohol and prescription drugs and developed an eating disorder. During the last two years of her depression, she rarely left her bedroom. She was eventually admitted into a residential treatment centre for women with eating disorders. At first, she resisted treatment and was angry, but after a couple weeks experienced a profound psychic shift. She woke up one morning with a completely different sense of herself and had lost memories of her previous life. She saw the world with completely new eyes. She has subsequently experienced a deep sense of well-being and appreciation of life. Like Russel Williams, she no longer experiences a sense of ego separation and people are drawn to her presence as a spiritual teacher. She devised a system for analysing thoughts called ‘The Work’, which aims to free those who practice it from negative and self-limiting thinking.

Although, they may not be famous and are not thought of as spiritual teachers, all those ordinary individuals who are awakened through suffering, loss, and trauma are in a sense teachers too, as everyone around them benefits from their serenity and wisdom.

The Concept of the Wounded Healer

It is common for those of us in recovery from addiction to experience post-traumatic growth, spiritual awakenings of one form or another, and subsequent meaning and purpose in our lives following suffering, loss, and trauma. Suffering, loss, and traumatic experiences can often contribute greatly to the development of addiction in people.. but if we can transcend our addiction and wounds enough, we can often find a life of meaning and purpose in recovery. We can become a classic example of a ‘wounded healer’.

“The notion of the wounded healer dates back to antiquity. Plato, the father of Western philosophy, stated that the most skilful physicians, rather than being models of good health, are those who have suffered from all sorts of illnesses. Such physicians become eloquent examples of “the wounded healer.”

The Greek myth of Chiron, the wisest of all centaurs, can help us to understand this concept. The Greek gods Apollo and Artemis taught medicine to Chiron. Chiron was wounded by an arrow from Heracles’ bow. He did not die, but instead, he suffered excruciating pain for the rest of his eternal days. It was because of his grievous wound that Chiron became known as a legendary healer in ancient Greece.

In 1951, Jung first used the term wounded healer. Jung believed that disease of the soul could be the best possible form of training for a healer. In a book published days before his death, Jung wrote that only a wounded physician could heal effectively. In so doing, Jung drew upon the myth of Chiron, making it one of the most fundamental archetypes of human history and modern medicine.

There is no reason for wounded healers to be ashamed of their suffering. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who managed to survive the Nazi concentration camps, teaches us that, just like destiny or death, suffering is a fundamental of human experience. For Frankl, if life has meaning, suffering must necessarily have meaning too. The way in which a person accepts his destiny and suffering provides his life with a profound sense of meaning.”

Serge Daneault, MD Ph.D.

1. ‘Out of The Darkness’ by Steve Taylor, Ph.D.