The Paradox of Self-Sacrifice and Individual Freedom

By Steve K.

In today’s post-modern world the traditional values of duty and self-sacrifice are in danger of being lost to the humanistic value of being true to oneself and own wellbeing, in an increasingly individualistic and materialistic culture. There is an interesting debate to be had between these seemingly opposing traditional and modern values within current society. Thinking of others, a social conscience, and in the right circumstances, self-sacrifice are good moral principles that serve society well. However, the humanistic principles of being authentic, true to oneself, and the emphasis upon self-care are healthy and desirable too.

For me, there needs to be balance between these two truths and wisdom lies in knowing which actions to take at the right time. The ancient tradition would suggest that serving the greater good and sacrificing self is ultimately self-fulfilling and develops character growth. Humanistic psychology, inspired by existentialism, suggests that not being true to oneself creates illness and unhappiness and stifles the self. Experience suggests that both are paradoxically true.

When called upon to sacrifice oneself, is it really in the interest of a greater good, or just to serve others’ selfish or biased interests? Is the self-sacrifice we are asked to make in line with our authentic values? Important questions we must decide for ourselves.

In relation to recovery from addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) places a great importance upon unity and self-sacrifice within Tradition One, for the good of the group and the fellowship as a whole. However, the ‘tradition’ also stresses the individual freedom of its members “to think, talk, and act as he [she] wishes.” (1)

The AA ‘tradition’ explains that for the individual to survive and flourish so must the group – that without the support of the group there is no individual recovery. I think that for many this suggestion is without doubt true.

Part of the ancient wisdom of self-sacrifice and service to others is that it often becomes self-fulfilling (despite the hardships involved) – a way of life in which we find a meaning and purpose and become willing to choose for ourselves. While the AA ‘tradition’ places emphasis upon self-sacrifice and humility; a balance must be found between the overall needs and wellbeing of the group, and a respect for the rights and aspirations of the individual.

A healthy group or community must manage the tension between these seemingly opposing principles. This is where traditional and humanistic values must meet and make what is often an imperfect compromise. Knowing when and where to give and take lies in the intuition and wise judgement of conscience – of the group and the individuals within it.

The Greek philosopher Aristotle, suggested in his virtue theory, that if we practice wholesome principles we’ll develop a good character, and we’ll intuitively choose the right moral actions to take. If we practice humility and self-sacrifice, we’ll become humble and unselfish and then make decisions based upon these good character traits. This is the road to personal character that traditional wisdom indicates and requires a great commitment to self-discipline.

In AA, we say… ‘practice the opposite of your character defects.’ Through the denial of our ego, we are transformed into something new. Paradoxically, a fulfilled human being by surrendering ourselves to the other, the greatest good for all. Our genuine happiness is found in love, community, and goodness towards others. By letting go of self we find new meaning and authentic connection. A life worthy of living, joy, fulfilment, becoming our true self at last.

In relation to society generally, I often feel that the balance is increasingly being lost in favour of a ‘selfie’, me, rather than ‘we’, society. In an increasingly individualistic and materialistic world a time for personal and collective reflection, self-discipline, and a raising of socially conscious behaviour is needed more than ever. As I reflect upon my own difficulties with self-sacrifice, I would struggle less by listening to the traditional wisdom of our collective past. The ancient message that suggests.. true happiness can be found in giving to others our utmost best.

‘I slept and dreamt that life was joy.

I awoke and saw that life was service.

I acted and behold, service was joy.’

By Rabindranath Tagore.

References:

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p.133.